The funeral Of Big Bad Jon.

Many people have been asking for the text of the funeral for Big Bad Jon.

Here it is, at least, the plain words. I have added to the book in RED the parts of the book that I said, or the ad-libs that I remember. They may not be all correct, the day was a bit of a blurr. It doesn’t contain the feelings, or the laughter, or of course the tears.

The funeral was written by me entirely for the occasion*.

Funeral (Jon Scholes)

And here’s Jon, doing the sacred dance:


Nine Worlds Religious Track


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So, I decided to re-visit CafePress after a very long absence to discover that they have very much upped their game. While there, in order to test out their features, with the eye to perhaps writing a review, I noticed that actually, I could produce quite a few of the items of clothing that I wouldn’t mind seeing around the place, and a ew that I felt should exsist.

It then dawned on me that it was only a few clicks, and a bit of time in GIMP, and I rather quickly had 2 designs of my own. Of course, I’m not that original, but with a tendency towards Religious and Political activism, I thought that perhaps entertaining slogans on T-shirts might be something that others would like as well.

Wether or not I manage to do anything more remains to be seen, but now know how that it’s there, all it’s going to need is time. That scares commodity that I have very little of.


Batman On an Elephant. That is All.

Batman On An Elephant

Jan Moir : Can you believe it?

As you know by now, Jan Moir, a columnist of the Daily Mail has written a hateful article on the death of Stephen Gately. She insinuates that being Gay is what caused his tragic death.

I figured there was no point putting up something as the news broke, ever man and his cyberpet was doing that. I figured that I’d wait to see if time would calm me down, so that I didn’t publish a post full of spitting bile. It has now been nearly 7 hours since I found out, and I’m still angry. I’m still angry because I find no news that she’s offered her resignation. I’m still angry because if anyone else had said something similar about one of the Daily Mail’s Heros, from any other paper, the Daily Mail would be clamouring for their head on a platter. Why are the other papers NOT calling for her resignation?

The rest of the article, if you read past the hateful comments about Stephen Gately, you’ll see that she’s also against Maternity leave. Against it because according to her, it’s killing small business because of the amount of time off a Mother needs with her New-Born Child. We’ll ignore the Sexism of that for now, but where does she get off telling people that they should not be at home with their kids the one minuit, and writing for a paper that bemoans the breakup of Marriages on the other.

I join the ranks of those bloggers out that demand at the very least a public Appology. What we should get is her resignation.


Improving Your Blog, a begining investigation

As was said a while back, I Thoguth I’d see if I can find a way of getting this blog out there. There appears to be a few things that I should really consider first.

Before I can start to make money from this site, which, lets face it, is the ultimate aim of spending all this time sharing my thoughts, feelings, and generall work round-up on the internet, I really should do a bit of Market Research.

It’s always a difficult thought that perhaps the thousands of picturs of your little dog, and the cute stories of what your boyfriend got you for your birthday might not be the hottest topic on the web. So the first thing you need to know is what your target audience is. Then you need to know if your finding them.

I personally havn’t found out what it is I’m trying to say. I’m simply trying to document my life, in ways that perhaps will help other people, so perhaps this blog is not exactly going to be a money spinner.

You have also got to take into account that once you’ve got yoru content sorted, what you really need to fix is the layout. The information needs to be easy to read, easy to find, and accessible. Wether it’s about your dog, your boyfriend, or a post on how to make money on the stock exchange. Presentation is almost as important as the content, or, perhaps I should say, in some ways, it is more important than the content. You need to insure that your information is at least readable. That the layout doesn’t detract from your information.

Another mistake that people make is to plater their sites in adverts. Adverts for everything, all over the place. The problem with that is thought it might make you a few pence, it is unlikely to be sustainable, and very unlikey that you’ll get return business.

So, as I’m just starting out here, I thought, as most bloggers would that I would go straight for the money. Show me the Money. Gimmi.

Then I read a piece on DoshDosh, about the mistakes you can make by monetizing your blog too early.

Though of course he doesn’t say what “too early” is. This blog has been going nearly a year, slowly the readership grows, but it’s only bouncing around 50 readers a day. Perhaps, as I’ve not yet really made any kinds of headway into the blogosphere, that monetizing yet is not a good idea. That doesn’t mean that I won’t.

I also need to look at layout. The one you can see (at the time of wrighting) running is called Dark Water by antbag. (I suppose I should look into the plugin that allows you to switch themes on WordPress so that this post will make sense in the future). It’s a nice, clean theme, but it’s.. a bit dark. Perhaps I should pick something that says “profession”, or perhaps “Religious”, or even, perhaps something that’s a little more standard. Something that’s clean and easy.

At least, perhaps, while I work though this I can at least keep the updates on this site, and hopefully help all those other confused newbie bloggers out there.

Hope this helps,

Black Xanthus

Learing WordPress Tips

Following my last post, I thought I’d actually take some of my own advice.

It may not look it, but there’s been about 2 hours of work gone into this blog.

Where you might ask. As indeed you may. I’ve wandered through the wordpress options and found the “widgets”. These are little gadgets that allow you, with a widget enabled theme, to arrange the links on the left. This should meant that when I change the theme, or enable the themes to be saved as preferances, they won’t change. Handy for when a theme compleatly walks all over those handy META links that this blog contains.

The most useful one is that “text widget”. This little thing allows you to create a panel and put whatever you like in it. In my case I have used it to create the “Promote this blog” links.

This is fairly straight-forward to do, once you know how.

Open your wordpress administrator, and go to “Presentation->Widgets”, scroll down the page and see the “Text Widget”. Next to it is a “Save” button. Logic would say this would be a “Create”, or “New”, but there we go. Click this, and it will tell you that it’s been created.

You will then find it in the “widget” secion that will allow you to add it to the sidebars. From here, click on the right “configure” bit, give it a title, and put your html in the big box. To close it, just click the X and it will save.

Save the whole thing, and take a look at your new widget.

Neat huh?


Passing time on the Internet

Did you ever actually just stop and think about what your doing?

I mean really.

All that time reading other people’s blogs, all that time reading other people’s webcomics. It’s wonderful that they are there. It’s amazing the talent that some people have. I find it it a bit depressing really. Especially when I glance at the clock and realise I’ve just laughed an hour of my life away.

Of course, Laughter is good for the soul. It’s good for the body. You could probably google yourself a few hundred articles on why you should laugh once a day. Don’t. Don’t touch that search-box. Don’t do anything.

Ever considered that all that time you’ve just spent might be a waste? The feeling steals over me every now and again. All those things that I think that I really should learn to do, that are on my life’s to-do list.

Learn to play the guitar.
Learn to play the harmonica better,
Pay attention to my Fiance
Get this blog up and running so that it bring in more visitors, perhaps makes me some money.
Draw more Anime
Research Christian Literature
Finish off my Litestep Theme
Re-Compile and improve Enlightenment.

What do I do instead? I open a browser and hit that stumble button, and away I go onto the internet.

I watch my life disopear in a myriad of zeros and ones. In pretty hypertext.

There was once a program on T.V. called W.D.Y, or Why Don’t You. It advocated turning the television off and do something else. Perhaps what we need is something like for the web. Something that advocates actually doing something with your life, rather than hiding in the electronic vastness that is the internet.

Perhaps I will make a deal with myself. A personal timetable. One that says that I will only spend an hour “wasting time” on the Internet.

You never know, perhaps I will keep it. You never know, Perhaps you will.

Black Xanthus

Technorati Joining

Technorati Profile

So what is it all about then? Well, on reading a post about “how to get your blog better known”, the firs thing in the advice was “Join Technorati”. So I did. Unfortunately, I then went a lost the URL for the site. That’ll teach me to not bookmark things.

Technorati seems to be yet another of those rating sites, though this one seems to rate the content of the site, and who links to you, and that increases the ranking of your site. As of yet, I don’t fully understand precisely how it works, I suppose I should read their rather mamoth FAQ, and distill the information down here for the rest of the world to be able to use.

I have a Score of 2, which seems to have come mostly from the fact that “Random Blatherings” seems to be linking to my site. I might put the “widget” onto my site and watch it amusingly fail to change, but we shall see. I shall also try to keep you, dear reader, informed of the blog’s progress in the hope that it can help someone else struggling through the forest of blogs to reach that lime-light.