The Diseased Imaginings of a Tainted Mind
Sometimes I wish I had the answers.
Sometimes I wish there was a way that I could articulate in a way that was fully rational why I believe there is a God. I look around the internet, and it seems to be polarised between Kantian-descended rationalists, who have finally done away with Kant’s need for God to prove a Just universe, and those who have taken Martin Luther’s cry of “Sola Scriptura” as a battle cry, and have simply replaced his bigoted hatred for Jews with one that seems to be aimed at those who wish to be in Single-Sex relationships.
Somewhere in the middle there is the quiet voice of the Moderates. We’re those who are just quietly seeking a way to get our message out that we’re not completely insane. We know that what we believe cannot be proved, and we walk the fine line of Rationality, balancing it with Theology so that we can produce a coherent picture of the world in which we live. We Moderates are not alone. There are many of us who believe that the spiritual side of our life needs nourishing as well. We all seek for ways to do that that feed us. It is a world that no amount of rationalisation is going to get rid of, because people will feel what they feel. Sure you can tell yourself that what your feeling is false, because it has no basis on any provable fact, but then emotions are notorious like that.
Those of us that do follow a life where the spiritual is necessary know that there is enough anecdotal evidence from people that we trust that makes us think that there has to be something in it, and it really does confuse us that it’s never been scientifically reproducible. That, however, doesn’t mean that we’re going to insist that the science is wrong. We might suggest that we simple don’t have the right way to do the test, but we really can’t argue with the scientists; that’s not our field, that’s not our job. Atheists are quite happy to live in a world where the spirit doesn’t matter, and good luck to them. They have what they think is the certainty of science. They will not believe anything that cannot be proven. It’s very seductive. They produce their moral laws in the same way that most people do, they pick a form of ethics that matches their own opinions and work out their Moral Action from that point of view. There is not even a single ethic amongst them. In general, they are utilitarian, but I have seen those who still follow Deontology, or who follow a Selfish Ethic. Some Christians would use this to show the supremacy of Faith, saying that with Christ you have a single ethic, but that’s also not true. In theory, Christians are Utilitarian, we work for the Kingdom of God, which we hope to bring about on this earth by following the Golden Rule, “Love God, and Love your neighbour”. Be Excellent to Each Other. Yet, time and time again you see that there Christians who find that there is some other value that reigns above these. A Capitalistic Ethic, a “Self-Identifying Ethic” (we look after our own first). How many churches would vote to fix the roof than to send the money to a disaster relief fund? The practical over the Kingdom of God.
I wish I believed that this world would be better off if everyone was Christian. I don’t. Christians are spectacularly bad at being in charge. We keep proving how quickly we can lay down the line and then persecute anyone that doesn’t follow that line. We still have so much that we need to apologise to the world for. We might wish that the world would quietly forget the excesses of Christianity in the Crusades, or the people who attack Homosexuals for being the way God made them, or blowing up abortion clinics, protesting funerals, and all the other despicable things that have been done in the name of God. It would be enough to make Jesus weep. Do we really think this is the Kingdom of God that Jesus instructed us to create? one where there are lines, where we no-longer accept the marginalised.
I wish there was a way that both sides, those that believe and those that don’t could live in harmony, without one trying to place demands on the other. It is right that they should be in dialogue, least one becomes too proud, or too excessive. However, we have come so far down the track that at the moment it seems that neither side will accept a draw. Though as I Say that, I know that there are moderates on both sides who look at the extremes and sigh.
I wish that into this maddening storm my words will make a difference. I with that I will be able to make a change. I wish that there was a way to articulate this into a prayer that didn’t seem wholly selfish.