Something Imaginative

The singer, song-writer and entertainer Michael Jackson has passed away, apparently from a heart attack. Paramedics were called to his house early this evening, and had to perform CPR. He was taken to the UCLA medical center where he was pronounced dead.

He died of a cardiac arrest, and arrived at the hospital in a deep coma. He was pronounced dead shortly after his arrival.

There was some confusion over his death, with some US media outlets releasing his death before it had been officially been confirmed.

There is a feeling of shock, and surprise rippling through the gathered crowed outside the Hospital, with many people refusing to beleive the news.  In an interesting twist, one of the doctors is already releasing his story to TMZ.com, where sky news and others seem to be gathering the report.

It is a loss to the Music industry, his music and his dancing have, of course, gone down in history. Uri Geller, a close personal friend of Michael Jackson, speaking on sky news says that he, like the rest of the world, does not want to belive it, and is waiting for confirmation from Michaels Family, or a doctor.

His death will join those list of ledgendary stars with this surprise death. Elvis, Kurt Cobain, Maralyn Monroe, and now Micheal Jackson.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Family, his friends.

~BX

Popularity: 4% [?]

The black van sat at the side of the long single-track road. The two men in the front seat were busy staring out the main window. An acqusation-filled silence passed between the two men. The driver, a tall black man, with dread-locks and a once-colourfull hat was resting his feet either side of the steering wheel. His passenger, a man dressed in black as a fasion statement, was turning the road map round and round in his hand.

“It’s simply not there” said the man in black.

“Uh huh”. the driver replied, the tinest hint of an accent hidden in his voice.

“How can we be on a road that isn’t on a map, having come off a road that isn’t on the map, and isn’t there when we go back to find it.”

“You act surprised. Like this was the first time things didn’t make sense.”

The noise of chains being pulled over the floor came from the back of the man, and a soft thud of a fist against a wall. The men glanced at each other, their argument forgotten.The driver took the map, and turned it in his hands. Eyes looking for something that might give them a clue as to what had happened.

“You know, man, perhaps were looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps dis isn’t all about what isn’t dere, but what we tink should be dere. ”

“I’m not following”

“Per’aps what we is not seeing, is the fact that were not where we tink we are.”

“I could have told you that. If we knew where we were we wouldn’t be lost. ”

“Nah, chill man. Per’aps what we’re missin’ is dat dere is no where for us to be. Per’aps for de first time in ages all we got to do is to chill ‘n’ drive. Put on some tunes and enjoy.”

The man in black raised an eyebrow. The soft clanking of a chain punctuating the silence. The man looked over his shoulder, knowing that he couldn’t see anything, just the metal panel that separated the front from the back. “Relax huh?”

The driver watched the shadow pass over his companions face. The man in black, James, hadn’t been off-duty since they met. “You should at least catch some shut-eye. It ain’t like we’re goin’ to get there for another few hours.” James nodded, and opened his door, and stepped out of the black van. He pulled open the side door to reveal a thick black curtain set a little bit back from the door. He stood in the space between the door and the curtain and the door, and slide the door closed behind him. The only light beyond the curtain was provided by a tiny yellow led light. Just enough to illuminate the bundle of blankets in the corner. Around it was a white line, glowing with faint-green illuminessence, and the far side of that line was a bed, placed as close to the white line as possible. James lay down in it and stared at the pile of blankets, his eyes picking out the dull glint of of the chains running from the pile to the re-enforced metal sides. The pile moved agitatedly, and a tear roled down his cheek. “It’s okay baby, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to make it better. Just like I promsied.” The pile murmed softly, and curled up smaller. There was a soft lurch as the van began moving again, and the muffled sounds of reggae comming from the cab.

James wanted so much to reach out his hand, to give some comfort, to try to explain what was going on. Yet what could you say? After all this time searching, they were no closer. They knew more, but no closer. It seemed like they couldn’t catch a break, like the odds were stacked against them. They were just two people in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He thought about Marcus, their strange driver. He had some beef of his own, his own reasons for being on this insane road trip. He hoped that there was some answers somewhere, some light at the end of the tunnel that wasn’t an on-comming train. The bundle murmmered softly. James couldn’t hold the tears back any more. He’d been holding them back for far too long. He sobbed quietly, and then it was like the flood-gates had been opened, and he burried his face into his pillow and cried.

Marcus tilted his head at the quiet sobs comming through the wall. He nodded grimly to himself, and glanced upwards. The dirt round rounded a corner, and joined an empty high-way. Marcus slid the van onto it, and began the long drive south.

~BlackXanthus

Popularity: 7% [?]

I was Stumbling around the internet, as is my want, when I really should have been doing other things, and I came accross a wonderful article about someone who’s trying to create a minor god called Olly. It was the kind of article with such a random opening that I found myself reading it. There was nothing really new in the article, appart from the idea of the minor god Olly, but there were a few things that I thought worthy of repeating.

We’ve all heard of the myths about Parking. My fellow students here at college will often pray to the Blessed Virgin, or Christ himself for a parking space. I’ve heard many people who have similar beliefs to various gods. This article, however, talks about the modern creation of the Goddess Rita, to fulfill the need of a society continually searching to deal with a brain hard-wired to deal with belief.

The Lovely Goddess Rita, Meta Maid comes from the Song by the Beatles. The worship is not just of offering a prayer when in search of a parking place, you must also put coins into expired parking meters, saying “Praise Rita” as they turn the handle on the meter. Her worship song is of course, the song by the Beatles, all of this seems to enable the people who pray to Rita to gain a parking space.

I found the idea fascinating. We often forget that Gods are meant to help us out with the day-to-day things. Christians would pray about all sorts of things, and liberal uses of “arrow” prayers to help people get through the day. The thing is, that people seem to have an innate sense of fair-play. It is not fair for someoen to continually get a parking space that might deny someone else, without that person doing something in return for the God. In the case of Rita, filling up parking meters and such-like. Christ requires us to pass on our good fortune to others, however we find them. It is this “fair-play” that allows us feel that it is okay to keep asking these strang, small things.

You will find a number of webpages on the net that caution against making selfish prayer. I think that tends to forget the fact that God can say “No”. Often when He does, He has a reason, one that we might not be able to see. I guess, perhaps, that Rita has the ability to say no, but the article doesn’t go into any depth on the complications of her Theology. Perhaps that’s beacuse she doesn’t need one. It is very difficult being a Christian, spending most of your time defending your religion, to remember that there are times when it requires nothing more than a few words and actions of thanks to gain the Grace of God.

So what of Olly? Well, Olly is not yet a fully-formed god. The writer of the article is looking for a god that will ease the mind of those troubles that can’t be helped. The ones that keep you awake at night. You know you’ve done everything you can to prepare, and all there is to do now is sleep, but your worried mind won’t let you. This is where Olly comes in. Olly is vaugly designed to be someone who can take those cares away from you. Olly being short for “Olly Olly Oxenfree”, the call home in hide and seek. The writer is trying to find out what Olly requires, how he should be contacted, and how prayers and worship should be carried out.

Of course, as Christians, we have Christ. He’s a multi-function God. The Swiss-Army Knife of Deieties. He’s there for everything. This, again, causes a problem. For our “fair-play” minds, we feel that we must some-how give something back. Christ does have a list of things that we should do, mostly centering around being good to one another, and worshiping God, but for many people in today’s world, the rituals are so far removed from their life that they no-longer makes sense. In the artlce, the writer talks about how he invented a “spirit of inquiriy” to help him through the day at Job that wasn’t as good as it could have been. This is a spirit that’s in amoungst people, directly affecting his life. The Christian Church used to point to Angles, but it appears that even that has been lost, and forgotten. Angelology has now become the recourse of the “self-help” section of book stores, with a list of magic-spells used to conjour and control your angel. I’m not sure that pushing a devine being around like that is a good idea… why don’t we just go back to asking them? Not worshiping them, but just asking for their help. There is a distinct difference.

As the writer of the article says, there is only one way to know what Olly wants from him. To pray the most simple prayer. The first prayer that anyone seeking any God should pray.

So my first prayer is the one I would offer to any new divinity: Reveal yourself to me. Teach me to pray.

Perhaps we should all give that a go.

~Black Xanthus

Source: UUworld.org

Popularity: 18% [?]

It’s been a long time, but here we go. Another release of that IRC Java Client that you’ve all been waiting for (go on, admit it, you know you have been). It’s all contained in the Zip attached to this post.

Running:

• Download and unzip the file into a single director, eg c:\Birch or ~/Birch
• open a console
• type “java MainProgram”
• You should see a Window open up.
• Press “File..”
• Open the Properties Dialogue
• Make Changes
• Click Apply
• Press the Red Arrow

birch 0.5.4 APLHA

Known Issues:

• No DCC
• No Notify
• No colour handling

Any more comments, or problems, just leave a comment and tell me!

~BX

Screen-Shot (for koala_man)

Birch Screenshot showing UTF usage

Popularity: 15% [?]

When checking out my statistics page to see if my blog was getting anything like popular, I discovered that this question had been asked somewhere out in the googlesphere, and had some-how come to my blog. I don’t know if the person that typed this question found an answer out there, but I know that they’ve not found what they were looking for on this blog.

The reson for that should be pretty obvious, I’m not yet a fully trained Anglican Priest. But I thought I’d put my thoughts and feelings down in case the seeker came back. It will also, of course, make a wonderful reflection when next year’s portfolio comes.

I would say, that on balance, so far it does seem to be worth it. That’s mostly through Faith, rather than experience. The small amount of time I’ve spent in Parish Placement hasn’t really endeared me to the idea, nor has the session on Core Skills where we’ve been told that pastoral care of Priests is not something that the Anglican Church does well. The training has been hard, the essay work-load has been much more than I would have expected, and much more work than I did during my first degree (admitedly, that was now over 10 years ago), but definately more work than other people I know doing degrees.

Training college is a nightmare. It’s not a place that I would recomend anyone coming who doesn’t have a calling. It’s full of people who are so critical that at times you just want to shake them and remind them that it’s meant to be Christian institution, not a place for miner Hittler wannabees to strut their stuff like their next move is going to be to invade the Cafateria and annex the common room. People I know have contemplated leaving simply beacuse of the atmosphere in the college, and it doesn’t look set to change. Ever. I hope I’m wrong about that, and do indtend to try, but that’s how it is right now.

That’s not really hopefull is it? The questionee is wondering if the training is worth it. Shall we put it in a bit of perspective shall we?

Worst-case scenario, training is a three-year degree course. Followed by a two or three year curacy. The degree course itself is okay, but the work-load takes a little getting used too. It’s not impossible, it just feels like it. During this time you will be shown the ropes in a practicale way, you will get to go on three types of placement. A weekly placement, where for 15 sundays, and 15 half-days you will be working along-side a parish Priest. This will either be informative, or boring as all heck. Some Priests are willing to let their Ordinands get stuck in, others won’t. Your milage may vary. You will get a week placement. Again, some are better than others. Then there’s the month-long summer placement. Again, different results for different people.

However, that’s it for training. Three years out of your life. In that three years you’ll have had some amazing experiences, some that you never want to repeat, and a number that you are glad that you’ve had. Formation is NOT easy. It makes you look at yourself, even those bits you’ve spent a number of years avoiding, and painting over. It’s meant to be that way. It’s almost the “Dark Night of the Soul”, as John of the Cross would say.

Then there’s the curacy. During this, if the rumours are to be believed, you range from a fully-functioning member of a team to a dogsbody. Mostly, it tends to lean towards the Dogsbody, in that you’ll be doing all the services others don’t really want. The morning ones, or the late evening ones, that kind of thing. All the big servies will mostly be kept for the Preist. That’s the way it goes. It’s an ancient heirachy, and things don’t change that quickly.

And then? well, that’s just it. Then your out on your own, or your in a team ministry. Basically you get to do it your way. You get to lead services preside at the Eucarist.

And that is not the best bit. The Job is a Cradle-To-Grave job. Your called upon to share the best and worst times in people’s lives. You get to walk beside them, hold them up, remind them of the strength that comes with being In Christ. Of course, I don’t know that yet, I’ve just talked to Priests. I’ve yet to meet one that says it’s not, by and large, worth it. They’ve all said that it’s not easy. They’ve also all said that they wouldn’t change it for the world.

Now, I’m not saying that there arn’t Priest out there that would disagree, and I’m still enthusiastic about it all. Apparently the world will knock that out of me. I look forward to the fight.

If anyone out there has any questions they would like to pose me, feel free. There arn’t many of us blogging ordinands out there. Post a comment, and I’ll get back to you.

If God is calling, and you need to ask questions, I’m more than willing to help answer them. If you read this blog you’ll see how my journey went. You’ll see the questions I still have. I just hope I can help, even if it is in a small way through this post helping someone who’s seeking.

Yours,

Black Xanthus

Popularity: 17% [?]

Two hermits lived together for many years without a quarrel. One said to the other, ‘Let’s have a quarrel with each other, as other men do.’ the other answered, ‘I don’t know how a quarrel happens.’ The first said, ‘Look here, I put a brick between us, and I say, “That’s mine.” That is how you begin a quarrel.’ So theyput a brick between them, and one of them said, ‘That’s mine.’ The other said, “No; it’s mine.’ He answered, ‘Yes it’s yours. Take it away.’ They were unable to argue with each other.

Taken from: Ward, Benedicta, The Desert Fathers, Sayings of the Early Christian Monks, Penguin Classic, London:2003 p 182, No. 22.

Popularity: 20% [?]

A few days late, but I figure that I should write up what I did for Holy Week. Admitedly it’s a bit like what I did on holiday, but hopefully less cheesy and more spiritually enlightening.

I spent the week, along with 3 other ordinands along a gruelling Holy Week. this seemed to mostly be because I spent the week suffering from new bed syndrome. It was a very High, or at least, trying wanting to be High Church, so morning and evening prayer, with at least Eucharist once per day. We spent some time taking part in the services, mostly by being thrown in the deep end. We would show up, to find that nothing had really been organised, and we would be pressed into leading the service, or reading.

We had been asked before the week to lead the 3 hour Good Friday devotion, but everything else was being worked out by the seat of our pants. We had a brief meeting on Monday, but that was mostly allocating the visits to the retirement homes, and the home communions. Everything else was pretty much based on the plan of services that had been laid down.

There were four activities that I took away with me from this week. Each that affected me in a different way, and all, mostly, surprising.

The first was a full day of reading the Gospels. People were allocated a 10 minit slot, and a slice of one of the 4 gospels to read. They could bring their own Bible, or use the Bible left on the Lectern. The wonderful thing about this was the kids that were there from the “Sunday Club” (what was traditionally called Sunday School). They had all arranged/been allocated slots next to each other, and were all sat together to support each other in their readings. There was something moving about it. Though there were not many people actually sitting for the readings, the visitors to the church (it being a popular tourist town) were hearing the gospels read as they wandered round. There was something powerful about the whole experience.

The next was the service foot washing service on Maundy Thursday. The actuall foot washing, though effective, was not nearly as affective as it could have been. It is possible this is because it was the first time that the Church had tried something like it, so a lot of people were a little confused about it all. The message seemed to have been lost because of what it felt like a lack of cohesion of the service. That said, having had my feet washed, I opted to wander around the church barefoot, because the length of time it would have taken for me to put my boots back on would have had me sat in the chairs while the Eucharist prayer began. There was something raw and spiritual about wandering around barefoot in that sacred space.

The Good Friday service was… intense. Yet it worked. We took a dark approach to it. We left very little room for hope, but tried to get people to think about the sacrifice. We had addresses from the point of view of Thomas, the Centurion, Peter and Mary. After the address by Mary, we got someone to sing Let It Be. What surprised us was that there were people in tears. We were told that people were coming in from the streets. We had also been told that by the end of the three hour service, there would only be a handful of people left. That was not the case. It stunned all of us. It was a simple service, one that we had not thought that we’d put a lot of work into, but it appears that the message we had put forward was one that people had wanted to hear. We reached out and touch people. A wonderful reminder of why it is that we’re going through these three years of stressful training.

The Saturday Easter Fire. This was an interesting service, though there was something about the timing that was missing. It starts with a fire outside, which is blessed. Then this light is carried into the church, where all the candles are lit, as well as the candles that are being held by the congregation. It contains a re-affirmation of baptismal vows, where the congregation are sprinkled with holy water. It felt like it needed to be a bit higher, perhaps with a thurable being swung, and a large stone cross. This would have been a powerful service, appart from one parent with a very, very board child, that insisted on screaming through the service. It child was repeatedly being silenced, but it was obvious that the child needed to have been taken outside. I don’t mind children in Chuch during a standard service, but this special service was successfully ruined by this child. A few loud screams, not a problem, but consistent noise throughout the service is what did it.

There were a few other things that happened there. The strangest being meeting a woman who was unsure about her calling, mostly because she felt that the Church that she was working for was full of all those hypocrites that she despised, that nothing new was happening there. She had put her calling on hold. Our presence there, answering her questions about college, about the training, her being able to see the service that we did on Good Friday and assuring her that it was a fairly standard service, all of that seemed to help. We all made a friend that week.

It was an experience that I hope will stay with me for a long, long time. It reminds me why it is that we’re going through the process of training. It reaffirms our calling, and knowing that we are going in the right direction.

He is very good to us.

~BX

Popularity: 27% [?]

Caution: Spoilers Ahead

I’ve just been to see the film, Watchment. It goes without saying, it was ACE. I, like most people who have a soft spot for Rochanc was really irritated when he died, but I can appreciate why it was a must. Of course, the film has that wonderful use of music that gives away the plot to those that are paying attention. You’ll find exposes on the film, and the amazing use of Camera to make it look very much comic book, the way that there is so much going on in the film for the sharp-eyed. This, however, is a little different.

It occured to me very early on in the film that there were subtle Biblical references. I was guessing that as it was a quote from the Bible that could have easily passed into common usage, especially for the time that the comic was originally written. Anoyingly, I can’t remember what the quote was, but look out for it. It’s said by the mother of Ms. Jupiter, in the first time they speak. After that, the references begin to grow.

I was very engrosed in the film, and this was my first watching. I’ve also not seen the comic, to detailed references are going to be a bit lacking, I just wanted to put forward the outline idea.

At the end of the film, we see what is a perfect way to get peace. Mr. Manhattan is thought to have blown up a few cities in the UK and the USSR. This massive attack causes the two super-powers to work together, and peace continues because both sides think that Mr. Manhattan is watching. It’s violent, it’s terrible, but it WORKS. Mr. Manhattan is occasionally referred to as being a god, though he himself doesn’t see himself that way. Millions of people die to save billions.

It occoured to me that perhaps this was a viable view of the O.T. It is one of a loving God, but only if you take the long view. The destruction of the Cities by God was meant to be a deterrent. It was meant to point out to us that while we thought He was still there, and watching us, we would rather work together, than suffer the wrath of God. Of course, this idea is still in it’s infancy.

There is also a germ of an idea about Rochank. The idea that he is some kind of saviour of this strange, utopia new-world where everything is perfect. The idea that human’s won’t be happy in the new world, in the same way that humans were not happy in the perfect Matrix. The diary that he leaves, that we guess ends up being ran in the newspaper, that will turn the world back into a place that humans are happier to live in.

It’s a wonderful commentary on Human life, the fact that we can only be happy if we think that someone is watching over us, and will come and hurt is if we do something wrong, though daily there’s no proof that he’s still watching/ever there in the first place.

And that the saviour has some very unpleasant things to say about the human condition to make us feel happy.

A little dark, isn’t it?

~BX

Popularity: 26% [?]

Sometimes these ideas just come to you.

Here’s the first 1500 words of what appears to be a story that I just started writing. I don’t know where it’s going, or what it’s going to end up like, but I thought I’d share it with you:

Priest

Thanks,

~BX

Popularity: 33% [?]

I had to start somewhere. I had to sit down, and try to work out what precisely it is that I believe.

Odd, I hear you metophorically say. Surly, your training to be an Ordinand, your obviously Christian, how can you at this point start trying to work out what you believe?

Well, it’s like this. Before coming to study Theology, I knew what I believed. They were Belief Islands. Little bits of Christianity which I believed, and held to be true, but didn’t in any way affect the other parts of what I believed. I knew the arguments for and against the places where I stood, but for some reason, never really tried very hard to link the Islands. I knew that I wanted too, and knew that my arguments eventually fell over when I reached the parts where they started to leak onto the other Islands, but that never really concerned me. That, however, is slowly begining to change. This is not something that it’s only me that’s experiencing it. We all do, in some way or another. We find our beliefs challenged in ways that we weren’t expecting. Perhaps it was because we didn’t really understand the recriminations of what we belived, or we simply, as I did, never looked at how one belief affected the other. Over the three years here, of course, I’m going to have to work out a full, and cohesive personal theology. A Big Task. I would also like to write a comprehesive overview of my theology. An almost systematic theology. Also a Big Task.

I thought it would be best to start with what I believe:

1. I don’t believe in Original Sin
2. I Believe a lot of the Stories in the O. T. walk the line of Myth. Where some of them are true, for a certain value of true. For example, I believe that Noah did gather all the animals he knew about on an Ark, and the world he knew was flooded. I however happen to think that it was only as far as he could see. A small view of the world, so only the animals he knew about. I think that there were places that were not flooded for the 40 days and 40 nights. A fairly psudo-logical way to approach the Myths. However, I will confess that I’ve not grappled with the entire O. T. yet.
3. I see no problem with Homosexuals/Lesbians or with Female Ordination. I believe that it should be possible for them to be married in the sight of God, just like anyone else.
4. I belive that Jesus died on the Cross for Us. (Which is a good thing), but what precisely happened, I’m no-longer sure. If God love us, why was Jesus’ death necessary? If there was no Original Sin, why did we need to be redeemed? Even if we had walked so far from God, why was sending his only Son necessary?
5. I belive in a Loving, Fair God. I use Fair rather than Just purposefully.
6. I believe that there is an evil, a Satan.
7. I belive that there is a war between good and evil
8. I don’t belive that all good comes from God; I don’t belive all evil comes from Satan
9. I belive in Miricles
10. I belive in the Gifts of the Holy Spirit
11. I’m don’t think that Christianity is the only path to God/heaven
12. I see no problems with re-incarnation

I hold on to a lot of these things because I know them to be true. My other posts on this blog explore some of them more fully, but I think you can begin to see where the problem is. It comes down to the paradox of a loving and fair God, and the death of Jesus on the Cross. Of course, this has been brought more to the fore as we are in the season of Lent, and so it’s all around at the moment. I know that something happened, my belief tells me that. But what, precisely? Did Jesus simply atone for all our Sins? If so, why was this necessary? Why was it that Jesus needed to die for that? The Jews believe that we can go straight to God with out sins, and ask for forgiveness, why do we need Jesus for that? I’m not sure that we do.

There’s this worrying emphasis on Sin. It crops up all over the place, and the emphasis feels… wrong. Like the point has somehow been missed. It’s linked into the strange idea that we must be pure to come into the sight of God, and that our sin some-how makes us impure.

The idea also that a Sin has dishonoured God is now so alien to our culture, I’m not sure we know what that truly means anymore. When was the last time you truly felt dishonoured? I can’t rember a time I felt I had honour, so I’m not sure I can see how I could be dishonoured.

The awkward bit is getting this to all nit together. I need to know what it means so that I can preach on it. I need to know what God did for us on the Cross, and what it all means. Hopefully, I’ll explore that more as lent progressess.

~BX

Popularity: 36% [?]