Something Imaginative

Originally written: 02.07.2010 while in Lesotho.

I think I should stop reading st. Thomas Aquinus, he’s giving me ideas above my station. The thought was as follows:

Prayer transforms God’s power in potentia into God’s action in the world

This is hardly, I would guess, a new thought, but it is a new one for me. It gives human action a bigger part in prayer, being almost the guiding or directing force. Perhaps prayer acts more as the gate through which God can act? The problem with that is that that implies that God cannot act and requires permission to. My problem here, as always, is the opposite of the problem raised by J.B. Phillips in his book “Your God is too small” in that the Christian God is defined as being so Big. Perhaps, then, the important words are “in potentia”. If God’s purpose is something that is a river, constantly at work in the world, prayer then, as a two-way action, doesn’t simply alter the flow of the river, but makes us aware of the way, speed, and force of the river; making us more aware of the will of God. Of course that reads suspiciously like the near-traditional description of fate, except here the river is not an impersonal force, but that of a loving God. Prayers, then, could be seen as the pebbles dropped into the river, causing ripples. This implies that the more people who pray, or perhaps the stronger that you pray, for a certain thing the more the course of the river is altered. This doesn’t, to me, seem wholly satisfactory, but then I suppose that no analogy can ever be. However, there seems to be some superficial truth in the opening statement.

There is an equivalence with this idea in Christian ritual (the original statement, that is) whereby the celebrant (ordained person) calls God’s power onto ordinary bread & wine and transforms them into the spiritual body & blood of Christ. That power is called fourth and granted by the Grace of God. How much of the Eucharistic Prayer is necessary to achieve this transformation is a big debate in theology . For me, it requires the commemoration (“On the night he was betrayed, He took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it, and gave it to them saying “Take, eat, this is my body that was given for you, do this in remembrance of me etc.”), and the call of the Holy Spirit (Heavenly Father, send your spirit upon these thy gifts of bread and wine so that they may be for us His body & blood”). It is the point of the call (during or directly following – I’m not sure, not yet being Ordained!) that the elements (bread & wine) are changed. This then, is a call on God’s power In-potentia and demonstrates (or seems to) that Man# has the ability to call and use God’s power, ot at the very least a properly# Ordained person does. The practise of (emergency) baptism by lay people is still practised and considered to have force, and there are no standard words for such (or, rather, no guarantee that such words were available at the time) and no-one has called these Baptisms invalid#. The problem with prayer then is the seemingly rare occurrences of them being answered ( we don’t have hundreds of millionaires, nor are the terminally ill healed at any scientifically validated rate). Christian theology had then looked for other forms of “answers”; the spiritual healing for the terminally ill, becoming wealthy in spirit. Though they are good and valuable answers they neatly side-step the idea that prayer should be able to move mountains and uproot fig-trees and throw them in the sea with very little faith#. Seemingly, then, the amount of faith a person has does not have an impact on the level of success one should expect from a prayer. There is also the idea that:

“All Prayers are answered; sometimes the answer is ‘No’”

Giving “no” as an answer fits with the idea of a loving Father-God. Any parent# knows that giving in to every demand of a child leads to tyranny of the spoilt. however, it is difficult to see how a loving Father-God could answer “No” to the prayer to intervene in massive humanitarian problems (like Zimbabwe# massacres) or even to help people suffering as the result of a natural disaster (which are ultimately, according to the standard Christian doctrine, the result of God’s action).

With things like the Zimbabwe massacres it is possible to point to human free will as the problem. God gave us free will#, and must therefore allow us to exercise it. It does, however make God appear to be complicit with massive human death, especially as nothing is being done to stop him (Mugabe#). There is no-doubt much prayer being said against Mugabe.

On the small scale it appears that prayer does seem to function in-line with 2000# years of Christian thought. Probably just enough to bring new believers to the faith as they experience the subjective truth of God’s presence#.

There seems to be, then, rules that govern God’s interaction with the world. They are no-doubt, subtle and complicated, and probably, ultimately, unknowable, but it seems rational that these rules can be explored in a fairly rational way. We can, of course, only speak in generalities because God (presumably) is able to transcend any of the rules at will. This does not mean that the inquiry, though it may not be wholly successful, will not in someway bare fruit. To paraphrase Aquinas, all exploration of Divine truth is profitable. It should also be remembered that the truths may not bring specific comfort, as anyone who has faced the sudden death of a child# in any capacity has found that the notion of God’s plan wholly unhelpful, or as anyone who has had to explain to a near-hysterical person why God thinks that it’s okay that they might suddenly drop dead, and how is this fair on them or their loved ones found the questions impossible to answer. The fact that we may never truly know the answer should not stop the enquiry.

So where does that leave the opening statement? It stands, I think,as a good place from which to continue thinking about God’s actions, how we perceive them, and what they say, if anything about God. It seems to me that we cannot jump straight to speaking about the general transcendent God until we have outlined how He appears in specifics, on the small scale, before taking this image out to walk in the light of world history and global problems. We should start, as any enquiry should with what we know,what we understand and how this applies, and then, once that shape is wholly tested,and ironed out, forged as it were, in the light of experience and interpretation with God can we then explore the general and far-reaching truth about God.

~BlackXanthus

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Amidst calls for another reformation in the Catholic Church, the American Episcopal Church is busy forging ahead on it’s own. The news that’s making the headlines is of course the consecration as Bishop of Canon Mary Glasspool. This is not because she’s a Woman, the presiding Bishop of the US Episcopal Church is Dr Katherine Jefferts Schori, a woman. It is more because Canon Glasspool is in an openly Gay Civil Partnership.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, fearing for a split in the Anglican Communion, has repeatedly asked for “gracious restraint” in this matter. Now that the decision has been made to go ahead with the consecration of Canon Glasspool, a statement from the Lambeth Palace (as quoted in the Church times) says that this raises “very serious questions, not just for the Episcopal Church and its place in the Anglican Communion, but for the Communion as a whole” (Dember 11, 2009, Church Times). The usual responses have been seen from the Fundamental Christian groups, getting all hot-and-bothered about the way that it might affect them. It of course, raises big questions about the communion, as many African Bishops are against Single-Sex marriages. With this going ahead, it is going to leave the traditional Anglican Communion in tatters, especially if there are no sanctions brought against the American Episcopal Church for going against the communion.

The problem is that someone had to do something. Someone had to say that those three lines in the Bible that have been used for oppression had to be changed. We’re not still fighting for Slavery. We worked out that was wrong. Glasspool is the height of all the arguments that the Anglican Church in the UK have been arguing over. Single-Sex Issues, and Women in the Episcopate. Here, in one woman, we have both. The world will hold it’s breath as she gets ordained, and all the liberals pray that she doesn’t screw up. A good example will ensure that others will be able to follow her.

The one thing that isn’t being said that there was also another development in the USA this week that shows that, despite the most vocal Christian opposition, it is busy actually being more liberal than the rest of the world. Clergy in Washington, Iowa, Vermont, and Massachusetts are able to preside at civil same-sex marriages, and bless them. Essentially, it is possible for Clergy who’s conciousness allows to marry single-sex couples. Yes, that’s right, AMERICA is allowing clergy in some states to bless single-sex marriages.

Yes it may be up to individual faith-communities who they see as married and who they don’t but the LAW of America say that they are married.

The fuss about Glasspool means that this little gem is passing by the fundmentalists. While they are busy pointing up at the Bishop, they are missing the fact that America is working through it’s very own grass-roots revolution.

Now, if only the rest of the Anglican Communion could start moving forward, we may yet be able to avoid a split, and embrace this reformation with open arms.

~BlackXanthus

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Recently, I’ve been debating with a few people I know, the issues of Sex and the Church. It appears that the Church seems to mask “sex” in the lofty idea of “morality”. It appears, at least on a cursory glance at relevant press releases. It all seems to revolve around precisely what the point of having “sex” is. Based on the Bible, they read it and see that the point of “sex” is for procreation, and so any form of “sex” that isn’t intended, or has the possibility of, producing offspring the Church can point too and say that that is imorral.

Speaking as an Anglican, when the Synod voted in the early 1900’s to allow men to ware Condoms, the basic argument was essentially torpedod. This move allows men and women to have sex for pleasure. The line that it should still happen inside Marriage is at least still strong, but the argument that morality should, as it is today, be linked to strongly to “sex” is patantly absured.

So, fast forward to 2010. The second biggest debate being held in Churches all over the world is about Homosexuality. Interestingly, by and large, lesbianism is forgotten about, but is generally linked together under the same barrier. The argument that if one passes they both will be accepted.

The debate often revolves around 3 issues. The first is that Homsexuality is “unnatural”, because the “sex” doesn’t produce children. This, I guess, it a logical line of thought, however, it only remains so if the Church is ALSO condemning every couple that doesn’t marry and start breeding straight away, or, for a more sane argument, any couple that cannot have children, or choose not to. The reason for the inclusion for couples that “cannot” have children, is that is precisely the arguement that is levelled at Homosexuality. That they cannot have children.

The next argument that it is unnatural is one that is difficult for both sides. One side holds up that homosexuality can be seen in nature, and the other counters with the fact that, from a certain point of view, Pedophilia is natural*. However, we should be talking about “consentual adults”, and not get ourselfs side-tracked with an argument over Pedophilia. Some would put forward a notion that God’s Design is that Man and Woman is the only way, however, we have no proof that this is so. All the examples that are given are given by fallen people, and the one perfect example is given by a celibate Christ, which is no help at all.

The argument that it “says in the Bible” has been answered before on this blog:http://blog.valhalla.jara23.co.uk/?p=285. This has been debated for many years, and is probably the only really sensible argument left. This at least turns the attention away from Sex, and more into a Didactic Reading of the Bible.

However, this issue is more insiduous than it may first appear. Homosexuality has caused the ArchBishop of Niger, Peter Akinola to say that Homosexuals are ‘deviants’, ‘perverted’ and ‘in rebellion against God’. He’s not alone in his comments. The entire idea that Christians could unilateraly hate a group of people because of what they do behind closed doors just seems bonkers.

Of course, I’m a liberal, who would rather spraed the love of God, than denounce people for a few badly-used lines in the Bible, so this post may be a little biased.

Christianity does not stop at Homosexuality, of course. All kinds of ‘deviant’ behaviour is ‘against’ God. BDSM, Furries, and all other kinds of sexual pleasures are considered ‘deviant’ also, but where, in this, is God’s Love?

We are called to be Excellent To Each Other. To just be nice to one another. Why is what people do in a loving relationship a problem?

Fundamentalists are all about a transoformational God, just so long as it’s not them that’s being Transformed.

BX

*This is part of the “slipery slope” arguement. It is generally used to evoke emotional responses, rather than considered thought.

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Just before Christmas I served time as a Prison Chaplain in a Prison. It was only a week, part of the palcements that those of us at Theology College do to ensure that we have a well rounded understanding of the options that are open to us. It was a very strange experience, something that I think will haunt me for a very long time. I also hope that it will make me more understanding of the plite of those who are in Prison.

The first thing that struck me about being inside was the helplessness. I could have been asked to be let out at any time, but still following people, and having doors locked and opened for you, knowing that you can’t leave under your own recognicance. There was something terrifying about that. People who say that we are too soft on prisoners really need to feel what that’s like. What it’s like to be locked in. That is definately punishment, especially for those of us used to going where we like, doing what we want when we want it.

The job of the Chaplain is essentially to be a voice that is primarily on the side of the Inmates, and also to explain the establishment to the inmates when it doesn’t make sense. It essentially fills that grey area where infromation needs to reach all inmates, but there isn’t really a sensible way to make sure that it does. They are also, more and more, taking on the roll of councellors, as the prison service has cut down on the number of councellors available in its’ prisons, and there wasn’t as single councellor in the prison I attended, but we’ll come back to that.

The day for chaplains starts in the same way. There are 3 places that require a visit from a chaplain every day. The first is healthcare. This is the place where inmates go if they are feeling ill, it is also the palce where they go when they are feeling suicidal, or have attempted to take their own life. They are then watched 24 hours a day, in a cell with a plastic front. Two of the people who were there on watch, one seemed very disturbed, the other was just excessively sad. At the point when he needed some profiessional help.

The second place that chaplains go is Segregation. This is the palce where inmantes go who have been separated from the main prison population. This is normally as punishment for actions such a fighting or smuggling. These cells only contain a bed, and they are not allowed books or anything else to entertain them, as such, it is imperative that the chaplain comes down to check on them, make sure that this sudden and stark loss of even the small number of priveleages doesn’t push them to wanting to take their own life.

The third place that someone goes is to Detox. This is the palce where people go who are comming down off various drugs. These are normally those that come into prison still addicted. Sometimes, even high. Obviously these need to be watched because the pain and mental confusion that can occur from cold-turkey might drive someone over the edge.

While on Placement, we were to partake of various different types of activities that the chaplain does. I got to go to “initiate” inmates. On arival all inmates are asked a barrage of questions, ranging from “have you been in prison before” to “do you have any disabilities”. Some questions are asked by a variety of people, but these are the ones that I remember the chaplain I was shadowing asking. Of course, amoungst that, the question “Do you feel suicidal”, which was asked in several subtle ways. While walking around shadowing the chaplain, we met a guy who was made up to be getting out. He was (as all inmates do), promising to go straight. He had a child that had been born while he was on the inside and he was desperate to go and look after him. We talked to him a few times, because we were mostly wanting to talk to his cell mate that was in “education”. One of the people we met while doing this was an inmate who told us that the reason he was in was that he was opsessed with his Ex Girlfriend. It was violating the restraining order that had landed him in prison the 3 times he’d been in. It occured to me that we should perhaps refer this guy to a councellor, to help him with the obsession, and stop him re-offending, and deal with the heartache. When I told this to the Chpalain, he agreed, but then told me that there were no councellors, which was probably why he’d ended up re-offending in the first place. Seemed a bit barmy to me.

During my time there the men (as they were referred too) were rehersing for their Carol Service that was happening on Sunday. This was something that they were putting together with the help of some volunteers, and a Conductor from the BBC. The men had written a nativity sketch, which was meant to show what the nativity meant to them, written from their point of view. IT contained some amazing lines, like “Your from the East and you don’t know Karate?”, and “Gold, Frankinsens, and Murr, and your walking around Bethlehem at night without knowing how to defend yourself? that’s not very wise is it?” (to which the wise men responded “Wise men don’t fight”). The thrust of the play was the shepherds, who were “ordinary men”, with flaws just like the men in prison (there was a shephard who was addicted to a “poppy potion”, for example), and yet the birth of Christ was for them as well. They also had a Choir for this service. It was made up of men who volunteered (though it was difficult to see if it was “to sing” or “to get out of the cell” for some of them. A lot of them came because their friend was comming). It was impressive to see the change from their Thursday Practice (where they sounded like drowning cats), to their Sunday performance, where they were almost sounding like a Choir. It was amazing, and I found myself being proud of them.

It was, by and large, a very strange experience, as you can tell from this slightly meandering reflection. These men who were so used to having other men around would suddenly tell you things in near-public, with their eyes focused on you that you probably wouldn’t tell your best friend of several years. It is a very odd experience.

The one thing I learned about it all was how normall these people were. It’s easy to think that those that are in for life are in some way some form of inhuman monster, but their not. By and large, they are sweet, and sometimes gentle, and just like you and me. That, I think, was the scray thing. The ones I met were indeed just like you and me. They told stories and you thought.. if I was there.. then yes, perhaps I would have done the same.

I spent a lot of the week thinking “there but for the grace of God go I”. The results of spending a week thinking about that sentance are a reflection in itself.

~BX

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Today I was given a Fridge Magnet. It’s something that’s going to go in my “Rainy Days and Mondays” file. It was the simplest of gifts, yet the story behind it was… well, huge.

Let me start somewhere that could be thought of as the Begining. Last Week, I preached a Sermon. It was a simple Sermon, about taking time to enjoy the Peace of the Lord. It was a sermon that said that the next time your somewhere, just taking a look at creation, take some time to rest on the Peace of the Lord, just resting in him, asking nothing, and expecting nothing, but just enjoying being there.

Everyone said they liked it. Rave Reviews, if you like. I didn’t really put very much stock in it despite the warms of feeling, simply because I didn’t want it to go to my head. Nor did I want the bar to be so high that meeting it in my next sermon was impossible. Shortly afterwoulds, my placement supervisor talked me though the sermon. There were a few flaws, the kind of thing that is often difficult to see, but nothing, in her mind, that was going to be a problem in the future, no bad habit, no mumbling, that sort of thing. Most of the points were the kind of things that by and large would become less of a problem with experience. At the end of the meeting, she mentioned a guy who drove a train.

This guy, however, had listened to my sermon. During that week, he’d found himself alone, and the words of my sermon came back to him, and he sat there, resting of the Peace of the Lord.

I was bowled over. Christ, through me, had managed to reach someone. I had managed to deliver the words that Christ had called me to deliver. It was.. and Awesome feeling. It was the kind of thing that I was going to write down when I got five minuits. This week, the guy had come up to me, and given me a Fridge Magnet, his way of saying Thank-You.

I can’t put the effect of this Fridge Magnet into words. I was Humbled. He was thanking me, and I was so shocked, that all I could say was thank you. I stood there, being unable to say anything but Thank You, and the guy was obviously touched. It was an honour to be in that situation. An Honour so Great, that all I can do is thank God for being able to there.

Amen.

~Black Xanthus.

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Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6, NRSV

This is one of those lines that quite annoys us liberals. It seems to portray a very narrow-minded view of God, and not one that sits quite happily with our view. Indeed, it was a topic of some small discussion at a lecture last Friday. I personally have been struggling with this statement, so often used by the American Evangelical Conservatives to prove that those that who don’t believe are doomed.

However, I was reading ” Dear Rowan, Please Save the C. Of E.”

A fascinating book, by a self-confessed heretic, and former Unpaid Priest of Upton in England. The book itself is fascinating, and it is interesting to find out that his licence to serve as a Parish Priest was revoked because of some of his actions and Theology.

In the closing pages of this book, I found a reference to Bishop John Robinson, a New Testament Scholar, who wrote the book Truth is Two-Eyed

I’ve not read this book, though it may be worth getting out of the library to take a look. Anyway, here’s the section from “Dear Rowan” that caught my eye:

Those opposed to liberals, especially liberals like me who regard other religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism as equal to Christianity, usually quote the words ascribed to Jesus in John’s Gospel: ‘No one comes to the Father but by me.’ Bishop John Robinson, a great New Testament scholar, became an acquaintance of mine, and something of a mentor, in the final months of his life. He presented to me a copy of what he regarded as his finest book, Truth is Two-Eyed in which he argues that this saying should be interpreted in the light of John’s opening verses, which provides the theological prism through which the rest of the Gospel should be interpreted. Jesus is identified with the eternal Logos, the divine Word that is the agent of all creation, and is present throughout creation. Thus we should expect to find that all people, of any religion or none, possess an innate knowledge of the divine; the path of Christ is to deepen that knowledge.

This is not a view that the Author, Rev. Robert Van de Weyer holds, but it started ringing bells for me. It shows that the line “I am the Truth, the Way, and the Light” is something much deeper, much more profound than a simple reading of it would suggest. Here you can see the divine “call” that circulates through everyone, that connection to the other that exists within, and throughout everyone. The call that gives rise to superstitions, other forms of religion, other access to the divine. It’s an answer that I’m sure I knew when I was much, much younger, but have forgotten between now and then. It was nice to have it brought to life, and even better to be able to put it here, with references for those who might be struggling with this particular piece of the Bible, as I was.

Thanks,

~BX

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Well.

A week spent of “letting Go, and Letting God”. Did I learn anything? Perhaps. I think the answer is probably something lame like “the middle way”. Not that there’s anything the matter with the middle way. I think though an important lesson has been (re)learnt. As is so often with these experiments, we notice that there is room for both. That spending too much time on one side or the other is bad.

And there it is, the hark back to the first year spirituality module. Not that I remember very much from it, apart from the description of an aproach to spirituality. That Desire for God is somewhere between thinking and feeling, between reason and experience. I think that I had been guilty in the past of concentrating too much on the reasons why, rather than just experiencing things, and worrying about it afterwoulds. Saying that, I found it difficult to not want to think over things, to not digest the reasons that I feel the way I do. I think that’s just me.

What this has highlighted for me is that perhaps there are times for things. There are times, particularly during worship, where we should try to more to let go, and to question less. I need to be more ready to engage in worship that is outside my comfort zone, incase I miss something that raises me closer to God, or more importantly, something that I can share with a congregation that will make them get closer to God.

Peace.

~BX

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So, today we had a Taize service. This is mostly lots of quiet meditative music, with bits being repeated, softly, gently and in harmony. Things being repeated for as long as was felt necessary, but all hte context of silence and meditative prayer. I had already been asked to serve at the ceremony, which was nothing short of… uplifting.

Being as part of the experiemnt was to sit and let myself be open to God, that’s what I did. I took a quick look through the booklet for the service, made a note of anything that I didn’t know, and then closed it. Relying on my memory and for the repeated chants to be able to work out where I was in the service, and what I should be saying or singing. This meant that for the majority of the service I could have my eyes half-closed in that meditative style (so that your body can differentiate “mediative” from “asleep”). It also meant that I could spend a lot of time simply emptying my mind, and opening my heart.

It was… amazing. I felt an… energy flow through me. Not something new to me, not something that I had not known before, but this was the first time that I had let myself go along with it, to let it fully take me where ever it wanted to go. Normally I would just let it fill me, like a glowing light, and remain there, and I would hold this feeling until it vanished like the smoke from the incense. Today, however, I let it flow. Not to anywhere, but let it be a… river. Again, not something that’s specially new to me, but not something I had experienced in a worship service in such a sustained way.

I found myself at the end of the service wanting to keep intoning. Not singing exactly, but listening to the last words of the prayed Taize chant, to keep ahold of the feeling. The songs may be “new” but they did not have that “modern” flavour, they were all in the old Middle-ages style. Heavily choir led, with lots of silence, with lots of listening to the silence and to the music.

I was told to try to write in a “feminine” way when trying to put these feelings onto paper, and I’m not sure that I can. I’m not sure that’s what I felt. It wasn’t a soft, gently love…. It was a… strong powerful brilliant light.

Light of the Lord

As the light of the Lord,
Falls on me like a shower,
as it’s rivers flow through me,
filling my life, my heart with a powerful love,
As the streams flow through me,
Let them flow to my prayer.

Let the Rivers of the Lord,
as they flow through those that hear,
let them be a light to the feet,
and a hope in the darkness.
Let those that see the light
shine it from their hands,
Let them act God’s Prayer.

Let the light of the Lord,
As it chases away the darkness,
as it warms the heart,
and cleanses the soul,
fill the world with His radiance.
Let the Word of God
shine from those who love.

Let the Word of the Lord,
Fall on me like a shower,
Let it’s river flow through me,
filling my life, my heart with a powerful grace,
As the streams flow through me,
Let them flow to my prayer.

~Black Xanthus

It occurs to me that my words are simply not adequate to describe this feeling. It’s something that the poets of ages gone spend nights grappling with, trying to find just the right word to capture just the right feeling.

Healing Waters

Lord, immerse us in the ocean of your love.
Bathe us in your cleansing rivers.
Soak us in your healing waters.
Drench us in your powerful downfalls.
Cool us in your bracing baths.
Refresh us in your sparkling streams.
Master us in your mighty seas.
Calm us by your quiet pools.
~ Community of Aidan and Hilda, From:Pocket Cletic Prayers, compiled by Martin Wallace.

The feeling fills the heart in a way that’s indescribable, but anyone who’s had any kind of experience will know what I mean. A feeling of connectedness, and of grace, and love and power. It is, for me, a quiet peace. Not the frantic charisma that the modern movement of the Charismatics want you to feel. It is the Deep Peace of the Lord that passes all understanding. That stays with you until the world intervenes.

May the blessing of your God go with you this night, gentle reader, and may He keep you in his hands tonight, and raise you up in the morning.

Amen (so be it).

~BX

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So, there I was, minding my own business chatting with a friend of mine from college about our different approaches to God. I question everything, and she “let’s go, and let’s God”. As things go, she eventually dared me to try it. Just to not think about anything, not to analyse anything, but to simply let go, and let God. So, I said that I would, but only if she would spend the week questioning everything. To want to know the why’s, the how’s and the warefores of Christianity.

She said, “O.K.”.

The two of us stared at each other for a while, as the it dawned on us that this was going to take both of us out of our comfort zone. Not just out, but into a dim and distant land that we can’t even see from our comfort zone.

I am, therefore, about to embark on a week of simply letting God talk into my heart, of letting the spirit take me without question. This could be a very, very strange week, or I could find that I spend a lot of time doing this anyway. Either way it will be an interesting experiment.

It all starts tomorrow. The first thing that occoured to me was that I was going to need a notebook, to keep a rough journal of things that came to me. I’ve left my notebook in the pocket of my coat in the car. The car will be going with my wife tomorrow morning, so I won’t be able to get it.

I guess I just leave that to God.

~BX

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